Lord Murphy and his Laws

Murphy's Law is one of the fundamental laws of nature, even more fundamental than, for example, the law of Copyright. It is a very optimistic law, stating if anything can go wrong, it will. If it can't go wrong, it will go wrong anyway.. Although, it has been proved that god is actually behind Murphy's Law, and that Murphy is blamed incorrectly.

Murphy's second law

More commonly known as "the law of probabilities", Murphy's second law assures that a 50/50 situation will always end badly.

• A 50% chance of becoming sterile during a vasectomy actually means 95%.
• When playing Russian Roulette, all 5 other people will get lucky.
• If half of your songs are good and you put your iPod on shuffle, you will hear Aap ka Saroor until your iPod battery has exactly 4 seconds left.

Murphy's third law

Murphy was on crack to think the first law, and either law #2 or #3 is completely false. But #1 looks even more false. Murphy did all he could to prove the 4th law, but failed. Was that a proof or a disproof? This depends on whether *you* wanted the law to fail or not.

Murphy's Law, redux

Murphy, short for David Bowie, is an influential Irish politician. He's credited with another version of Murphy's Law, one that requires Murphy's Irish Red be imbibed at least once daily, twice on Friday. The law was passed without any votes against, critics mention that anyone who would oppose had been out on town the night before, and in a Murphy's induced stupor. Those for the law cite the same incident.

Einstein enjoys a good Murphy's, and packaging will change in the near future to reflect his posthumous endorsement of the brew.

Incidentally, Murphy's was also invented in a bath.

Amendments to Murphy's Laws

• The First Amendment

If anything can go wrong it sometimes can and possibly will.

• The Second Amendment

Thou shalt sometimes miss the first bus, and usually have to wait half an hour for the next one to arrive.

• Teh Thurd amendamint

if zoo heet your zelf un ze heeed weeth a freyin paan zu weel bezomme stupeeder and stupderr. theiz waz foist tezsted ooon tha whitar oof thezi farticle pection.

• The Fourth Amendment

The chances of the toast landing buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

Murphy's Paradox

Murphy's Law says that if anything can go wrong, it will. But, this stupid law applies to itself: itself can go wrong, that is, there must be a situation where something can go wrong and it won't go wrong. So, Murphy Law is paradoxal, and by reductio ad absurdum, I boned your mother.