Two suns in a sunset (oil on canvas)

Syd (Ink on paper)

Nude (ink on paper)

Guitar Player (Oil on paper)

Gift (ink on paper)

Hurt (oil on paper)

high

ok. i shouldn't be doing this. but i am high. grass makes you so. and i have been stupid enough to be rolling joints in the middle of my exams...nah. i don't have a paper tomorrow. hence this. state of mine. you know there might be truth in the phrase "don't drink and drive but dope and fly". i feel like i am 10 kgs right now... you must be thinking. here is a chap. who was all prety sane when he last corresponded. what could've happened in all this time? aha! but you are mistaken. rememeber curious case of sanki at nighttime? by the way you become very smooth when you are high. not only in your movement but also in your action. all this while i did not once use the "backspace". it is true. your senses become very strong in a state of high....trance...perhaps this was the reason for budhha's nirvana...i don't know. i am blabbering shit. i should go back to pink floyd and not bother you anymore. so long and thanks for all the joints (i am a geek and so is my humour. live with it)

Eve

Shrouded in black

she hops after

the dark seeds

encased in apple flesh.

She stands and caws,

one foot gripping

apple skin.

Her beak pokes,

brings up

a sweet offering.

Awkward effort

to retrieve

the pebbles

at the core.

Black tear drops

she has never shed.

Lose Yourself

Why fear the unknown? Why fear the heights? Why fear death? Why fear loss? Why fear embarrassment? Forget the world, do what you do best, live your dream however silly it may seem. Dare to say NO. Dare to face your enemy. Dare to appologise and Dare to say I love you.You know you're good. You just assume the opposite. Who cares what they think.Who gives a hoot what your partner thinks. Wake up, quit the damn cigarette, quit the alcohol. join a damn gymn. get new wardrobe. dump your annoying partner. Tell your mum you've grown up. Tell your bestfriend he's a pest friend. leave everything, everyone. take your life in your hands, start afresh. Find yourself... Be somebody.

the curious case of sanki at nighttime

i am going to drop dead any moment...drop sleep, nonetheless. been awake for 40 hrs straight, and in that period i was traveling in a sleeper compartment of a train during a journey that took me 38 hours to complete. i was also making arrangements for the art exhibition that was due the next day (today), drinking beer. drinkng more beer with friends atop the highest building of the campus (dept of fuel and mineral engg's water tank which is situated above the 5th floor. now that episode is interesting in its own right. we snekaed into the building, laden with beer and grass, around the closing time of the department. we managed to reach the top of the building, our haven, without any incidents. and we happily drank our beer and smoked our weed. however, it was when our time to leave the building when the problem arose. the buggers had locked it up! at first we rejoiced. being locked up in the building we did quite crazy stuff...along the lines of things that a person does when he is locked up in a building. we didn't not panic though, not yet. instead, we re-arranged the interior of the building. flower pots shifted. banners exchanged. chairs and tables stacked atop each other. and other random stuff along the same line of action...though some cannot be told! this is when panic struck. here we were. locked up in a foreign building, waiting to be shot like a fish in the barrel. then one of us had this crazy idea. i think it was me. but anyway. one of us had spotted a tall bamboo ladder attatched to the southeren face of the building. it went from roof to all the way to the bottom, well almost. but thatis inconsequential. however there were some minor problems. a: it was made in the manner of those used by construction workers. so it was shaky. and quite loosely attached to the building by thin jute rope. the bamboos themselves were thin and looked doubtful of supporting our weight. not even mine (the lightest of the lot). b: the distance between one step of the ladder and the next was bloody 7 feet! so we had to literally hang on our hands so that our toes barely touched the next step, drawves that we are. so inebriated as we were, we climbed down. the other alternative was certain death. in a manner of speaking, of course. we climbed down 5 stories, with no harness to protect us. nothing but our hands and feet, mind was already out. you are not supposed to look down when you are climbing down 5 stories via a shaky makeshift ladder. and survived. with minor cuts and brusises which we didn't mind then (but which became a terrible pain the next day (today)). our sense of adventure did not stop here. we got more weed. and we had a car at our disposal...  

to be continued.  

PS: it was written yesterday in the gallery. i was too tired to post it and i slept for 13 straight hours.

Audrey

Dream

Sisters

Norma Jean

Tree of Life

Portrait of a Friend

Void

and another one

Untitled

Ink!

This is what i do when i am supposed to study. No wonder my grades are in pits.

Mandolin Player (oil on paper)

Abstract (oil on paper)

events of the night of 14th january and the mornming of 15th january

last night was crazy and i am still feeling as if the world is going round in circles. it started at 6 in the eve. got 2 liters of cocktail. equal portions of vodka and pomegranate juice with some ginger and lime
there were 5 of us. later, the same set went and had 2 beers each. then we realised one of us was born on that day, which meant whisky. lots of it. which also meant a lot of stupidity.

at three in the morning there i was, in front of the girls' hostel lying on the road with two of my friends and a bike. the chap who was riding it decided to do a wheely with 3 of us sitting on it. it went a teeny bit higher than he had anticipated. it was bloody full 90 degree lift! and you can't balance a bike which is standing straight on it's rear wheel with two other people on it, let alone trying to do that drunk. so we fell. and bruised our elbows. And also busted the silencer of the bike. which made it sound like a bullet. anyhow, we got more whisky (the reason we had taken out the bike in the first place). doing something like 80 kmph on a bike that was sounding like a bad record and had no brakes. someone also slapped the guard of the girls' hostel. someone had dared one of us to do that.

we came back. to my room. and decided to listen to mohd. rafi. there is certain quality to mohd rafi that only surfaces when you are reeling under the effect of alcohol. you actually start believing in what he sings we believed we were a bunch of junglees (remember yahoo! chahe koi mujhe junglee kahe...?). and behaved like them - jumping on top of each other, dancing to the song and generally laughing to death. all this jumping and dancing had made us sweaty (remember, it was the middle of winter...at 3 in the morning) so we decided to come out for a breath of fresh air.

my room's on the 2nd floor. and we got dared again. this time to jump on to the roof of the hostel mess, which is 10-12 meters down from the balcony. i was about to jump, but then decided i am not drunk enough. but we did stand on the railing, drunk as we were and peed on to the ground below. more revelry continued....along the lines of above narrated program. we ran out of water so we started taking whisky shots. more slapping. and then i decided i need a fag and some tea (i was planning to attend lectures in the morning). so this chappie and i went to the railway station. again doing 80 kmph. no breaks. this time on a busy road. our feet froze, so did our entire body. we were brainy enough not to wear anything warm and go in our bathroom slippers. anyway we went, had our tea and sutta, got stared at by every passerby (including a policeman) and came back. by the time we were back, the other 3 bastards had gone to sleep. but we decided to go for the lectures anyway. it was about time too. so we went, smelling badly of alcohol...and sat in the second row (we never sit in the second row) with the entire hall spinning in front of us.

prof was teaching something about 8086 chip. and the ladies in the front row kept looking back at us. i have a feeling they could smell us. so there we were, in the second row. with only 15 people in the class. and trying bloody hard not to laugh. which was hard, particularly for me, for my friend there was banging his head on the desk. one thing bad about alcohol is that it makes you believe in yourself. so we started giving proxies for all our friends, shouting yes sirs at the top of our voices. which was not a good idea considering the thin attendance at the lecture. we were lucky the prof didn't catch us. at the end of the lecture we decided we are in no shape to attend lectures.

a: we hadn't slept the night.
b: we were up getting ourselves drunk as any fish had ever been
c: we were still inebriated.

we all had a feeling we were gonna die but we went back to the room and finished off the remaining whisky anyway. we made life hell for our neighbours, but i don't think they complained. they were treated to free live entertainment. thankfully no one got killed except for the silencer of the bike which didn't belong to us anyway. it was a senior's. throughout the day we were cursing ourselves and drinking water. haven't eaten anything since yesterday afternoon. and i still feel a bit wobbly. not gonna touch alcohol for a long long time...but there's a party tomorrow. sigh!

Being in the Twenties

The following is an email forward which is pretty much accurate and i thought I'd share it with you


It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly
adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute,
you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind standing tall for that special someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now.You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem
to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it.We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends.... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion...

We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis"